Learn - Parents of Depressed Teens

Is my teen depressed? Learn the signs and symptoms of teen depression

January 24, 2017 By Kay Walker

A list of possible symptoms of teenage depression

When teens get depressed, sometimes you will see noticeable behavior changes, sometimes they will be more subtle. If you have been wondering: Is my teen depressed? Then look at this list and if the answer is yes to more than half of the symptoms, you might want to investigate further and take action to help them.

Here are some signs your teen may be depressed:

Depressive behaviors

They may have little or almost no motivation. They might become withdrawn and not communicate.
They might close their bedroom door and stay in their room for hours at a time, on evenings and weekends.
Depressed teens may sleep excessively.
You might also see a change in eating habits
They may exhibit apathy, not caring about anything they previously showed interest in.

Illicit activities

Some might even participate in criminal behaviors. They may shoplift or vandalize property or bully other kids.
They might drink and drive or use alcohol to excess.
They may also engage in illicit drug use.
In keeping with other items in this list you may see rebellious behavior from them.
Some engage in promiscuous sexual activity.

Physical symptoms

Teens who are depressed my complain of pains, including headaches, stomach aches, low back pain, or fatigue.
There could be a loss of interest in food, and there will be a resulting weight loss.
They may eat more and compulsive overeat and that could result in rapid and noticeable weight gain.
They could experience memory loss or complain of fuzzy thinking or exhibit poor logic.

School and Social Life

They may have trouble at school.
They may be late for classes.
They might skip school.
Teachers may report a sudden drop in grades.
They can have difficulty concentrating.
They may struggle with making decisions for themselves.
You might see withdrawal from friends, self-imposed isolation as well as sadness and loneliness.

Unusual Behaviors

Some teens suffer from excessive or inappropriate guilt.
Depressed teens may engage in irresponsible behavior. They may shirk responsibility. Ignore chores.
Failure to show up for part time jobs.
Sometimes there is a preoccupation with death and dying.
Insomnia can also be an issue. You may see staying awake at night and sleeping during the day.
Sadness, anxiety, or a feeling of hopelessness can be present.

If you need help or what to research teen depression further, you might find this Parent’s Guide to Teen Depression useful.

How do I know if my teen is depressed?

January 5, 2017 By Kay Walker

How do I know if my teen is depressed? Depression in teens doesn’t always look like depression that is seen in adults. Here’s a guide that you can follow to see if your teen may be suffering from what doctor’s call a disorder called “major depression”.

As always, this is for informational purposes only and you should ALWAYS consult a doctor or qualified medical professional get a firm diagnosis. I always recommend getting a diagnosis from two different doctors.

Major depression is a medical disorder. Here are the criteria used by doctors to diagnose it:

1) Five or more of the following symptoms have been present during the same two-week period and represent a change from previous functioning; at least one of the symptoms is either (a) depressed mood or (b) loss of interest or pleasure.

Depressed mood most either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood
Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others).
Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5 percent of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. Note: In children, consider failure to make expected weight gains.
Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day.
Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).
Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.
Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self- reproach or guilt about being sick).
Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others).
Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

2) The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.

3) The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., hypothyroidism).

How do I know if my teen is depressed?

Additional symptoms specific to teens and children:

Persistent sad or irritable mood
Frequent, vague, non-specific physical complaints
Frequent absences from school or poor performance from school
Being bored
Alcohol or substance abuse
Increased irritability
Anger or hostility
Reckless behavior

*******

Have you been wondering: How do I know if my teen is depressed? Teen depression recovery expert Kay Walker answers all those questions in her book: How to Help Your Depressed Teen and The Feel Better Now Book.

Click below for more details…

CLICK HERE

5 things you can say to instantly soothe a depressed teen

January 3, 2017 By Kay Walker

Click to download – use code Parent50 for 50% off – limited time offer

Depressed teens can be difficult to communicate with. As a parent you’ll either find yourself dealing with sullen silence, a lot of tears, and even anger. Depression in teens can express itself in many different ways. This article helps you learn to figure out what to say to a depressed teen

There are five key phrases you can use with your teen that can open up communication, soothe them, and even start a dialogue that results in a strategy when you both create a plan to resolve the issue.

1) “I’m here for you. What do you need?”

Feelings of isolation and helplessness often consume a depressed teen and they don’t know where to turn. Being a person they can go to will make them feel like they feel less alone.

2) “You can say anything to me and I won’t judge you or be upset. I promise. All I want to do is help you feel better.”

Teens feel like they cannot share their upsets, their problems, their frustrating or issues that they are dealing with for fear of being judged. Sometimes they feels like communicating will get them deeper into a problem and make it worse. You will need to create a safe space for them to say what they need to say and not feel like they are under threat of repercussions.

3) “Being depressed sucks. But it’s not your fault.”

Sometimes depressed people don’t know why they feel the way they do. This is a great time to explain that depression is a sickness that some people suffer. And that there are things you can help them with to make them feel better.

4) “What kind of thoughts are you having?”

Depression can bring on dark or upsetting thoughts. This is extremely normal. Even occasional thoughts of suicide are normal. Almost everyone deals with this once or twice in their life. Have them express what they are feeling. Just have them talk and listen. Try not to interrupt until they are done.

WARNING: Persistent thoughts of suicide for two weeks or more can be an indication of severity. This would require that they see a doctor as soon as possible. Intervention is necessary. Let them express themselves. Don’t freak out yourself. Stay calm. Afterwards get support for yourself if this conversation upsets you. Arrange to get them to a doctor. The point here is to have them talk about how they are feeling and empathize and help them find a solution to how they are feeling. I go into detail about how to handling this in my book: How to Help Your Depressed Teen.

5) “I’ll go with you.”

A depressed teen needs an ally. They need someone to have their back and prop them up when they seek help. You could offer to take them to the doctor, or a counsellor, a therapist, or anyone else that you help them select. Go with them. Be their advocate.

Now that you know what to say to a depressed teen, learn everything you need to know as a parent to help them get better and feel like themselves again. Download my book: How to Help Your Depressed Teen

***

Teen depression recovery expert Kay Walker is the author of the books How to Help Your Depressed Teen and The Feel Better Now Book. Click below for more details.

CLICK HERE

How to resolve an upset with your teen

February 24, 2016 By Kay Walker

Learn how to resolve an upset with your teen easily, with a few simple steps. Here are the important actions to take to get to reconciliation after a disagreement or misunderstanding that has resulted in anger or broken an otherwise loving relationship. Teach this process to your teen.

NOTE: While this exercise was written for parents and their teen children, it can work to resolve an issue with anyone.

Learning how to resolve an upset with your teen requires these steps:

1) First, take responsibility for not “getting” them, even if you think you have. They don’t think you understand them or their issues or what they want or need to be happy. So you are not “getting it” in their eyes. Suck this up. Let them be right, just for now.

2) Listen to what they have to say about the situation and look at where you can improve how you are supporting them or understanding them or communicating with them. Ask them where you’ve failed to do this. And where you have succeeded. Have a frank conversation.

NOTE: If this interplay gets heated for either of you at anytime. Put it on pause for both of you until you both came come back to the table in a calm manner.

4) Repeat what they ask for back to them. Use their words so they know they have been heard. (This is critical.) If they say: “I need you to stop nagging me.” Say “Ok I understand – I need to stop nagging you. And I will.” Not: “I will stop bugging you to get off the couch.” Use the exact words they use. Only then will they know they have been heard by you. If you get it right you’ll get a positive response.

4) Tell them you want to work with them as a team – together, to get them well. Ask for their buy in. If this isn’t a depressed person, find out what they are struggling with and offer to be a teammate on that.

5) Tell them you’ll do whatever it takes to get them well. Ask for a commitment from them to get well, and do what it takes.

6) Finally, tell them you are out to become an expert in depression (or their problem issue) because knowledge is your secret weapon in this fight. You can’t win unless you know the enemy extremely well.

What is Ontology

February 24, 2016 By Kay Walker

It’s shocking that most people suffering from depression, well actually, most people in general, do not know about ontology. There are therapeutic disciplines that use it and it has been found to be highly effective.

There is a course for teens that uses it and is run by a company called Landmark Worldwide. Parents with struggling teens should consider the Landmark Forum course for their teens.

Here is a brief overview of what ontology teaches:

What is Ontology?

Ontology is, most simply, put the science of “being” (like psychology is the study of human nature). It is a school of thought that explores and uses fundamentals in existence, reality and being, as principle tenants.

Therapeutic disciplines that use ontology are interested in teaching people tools that allow them to be who they want to be at any moment that is in the present.

Experts from psychological disciplines would agree that humans have a tendency to act from past based tendencies or from thoughts about a future they would like to create. That suggests, that humans are rarely present in the moment. And the actions that arise from this state of being, are not truly “being”. This has a direct correlation to actions you choose to take. The actions you take relate to the life you build around you. In this sense, you never learn to be in the present you only learn where are coming from “having been” or “hope to be” and that changes our reality.

Ontologically rooted therapy helps train you to focus on the present and choose actively how you want to behave in that moment.

If you’d like to learn more about ontology, please reach out to coach Kay Walker at [email protected]. She uses the therapy in her practice and can answer all your questions about it and direct you to any useful resources.