Depression Fighter

Self help for depression fighters

Depression Fighters

Suicide warning signs

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According to MentalHealth.gov the US authority on laws governing mental health,

approximately 100 Americans die by suicide each day. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15-24 year olds and more than 8 million adults in the United States had serious thoughts of suicide within the past 12 months.

Major suicide warning signs

If someone you know is showing one or more of the following behaviors, he or she may be thinking about suicide. Don’t ignore these warning signs.

  1. Talking about wanting to committing suicide. The more he says he wants to die the more he means it. If you feel his talk of wanting to die is getting more frequent, get help now.  Do not leave him alone.
  2. Researching suicide. There are online resources that suggest ways to kill yourself. Check to see if your loved one has been doing this type of research.
  3. Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
  4. Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
  5. Talking about being a burden to others
  6. Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
  7. Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
  8. Sleeping too little or too much
  9. Withdrawing or feeling isolated
  10. Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
  11. Displaying extreme mood swings

How to help a suicidal loved one

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The most important thing you need to know about supporting a suicidal friend or family member is that it’s not your job to fix them. It’s not your job to give advice. It’s not your job to save them.

It is, however, your job to help them get professional help. And to be a safe place where they can come and feel listened to and supported in a loving way.

It’s a fine balance and this article will help.How to help a suicidal loved one

How to help a suicidal loved one

  1. It’s on you to make sure they get professional help. You need to silently appoint yourself their health advocate. “Silently”, because you don’t want them to feel like their not in charge of her life anymore. If you make them do things forcefully, they will resent you. They may even do the opposite out of spite. Right now, they need someone who is healthy to help them get professional help. It could be hard for them to do this themselves. They are dealing with an illness that affects their mood, body and energy levels.
  2. Educate yourself about suicide and depression. Learning will help you understand what your loved one is going through. If you’ve never felt suicidal or had major depression yourself, it’s impossible for you to fully relate. When you can’t relate, it’s hard to provide the right kind of support. So, read articles, books and talk to many other people.  Call suicide prevention lines or health centers and get advice. When you understand what they’re going through it will translate.  It will come out in your communicate. You’ll learn to ask the right questions and to take helpful actions. This will make them feel closer to you and safe in your relationship.
  3. Embrace community. Share with the people in your life what’s going on.  When you feel comfortable and where appropriate, it’s okay to confide in others – friends, family members, co-workers – about what you are dealing with, with your loved one.  You’ll find that people are generally willing to help. They may even share stories that will help you feel like you’re not alone. They may point you to resources. This is not the time for you to be strong. It’s not a time for you to keep things private. It’s not always easy to talk about suicide or depression, but when you do, you’ll find it affects more people then you ever thought.
  4. Get professional help for yourself. During this time you could be dealing with a lot of stress and confusion about what to do, among the normal things you have to deal with in your own life. Seek professional therapeutic help from a mental health professional.  This could be a personal coach, a psychologist, a crisis prevention hotline, or an online forum.
  5. Learn your rights and her rights.  When it comes to suicide and mental health there are specific rights given to family members. If your loved one is severely depressed and you can’t get them to get help you can enact specific rights. In Canada, it’s called a Form 2.  A policeman will take them away and ensure they get immediate medical attention at a hospital.  It’s tough love, and it could save a life.
  6. Don’t wait. Their life is in your hands and it’s a priority. Don’t think that it will get better. Don’t wait. Get in action now. If your loved ons has been depressed and/or suicidal for more than two weeks you need to know that this is a dangerous situation.

Depressed and waiting to get professional help: Common challenges

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If you’re depressed, it’s likely that it’s taking way too long for you to get the help you need. The question is, what do you do in the meantime?

Especially, when you’re unable to work, your body aches, you don’t want to talk to anyone, and all you want to do is hide in the dark and sleep.

Here’s a list of some of the challenges you could be dealing with right now and ways to deal with them powerfully from someone who has been there.

Depressed and waiting to get professional help: Common challenges

CHALLENGE: You don’t want to socialize with anyone

Depressed and waiting to get professional helpRight now, for you, talking could take too much of effort. It can be extremely stressful when you have to explain what you’re dealing with. Or, defend yourself for not wanting to be social. You could also be suffering from feelings of guilt. You might be thinking you’re a burden to others and you don’t want to put them out by letting them know how bad you feel.

Words from someone who’s been there: Don’t put yourself down for not wanting to be social at this point of your life. It’s okay. Give yourself a break. Allow yourself to be alone if you need to. 

What is important though, is that you are as honest as possible (as you feel comfortable being) with people who are closest to you. Be straight with them. Teach them how to communicate with you. Tell them how much time you need to be alone. If you tell them what you are going through when you feel better you won’t have to deal with a trail of broken relationships.

CHALLENGE: Your body aches

Physically your body might be in breakdown. If you feel like you are 100 years old it’s because biologically there could be things happening to you that are causing your body to go into slow motion.

The cause could be stress, which leads to inflammation in the body and tension in the muscles. Or, it could be a neurological issue causing you to have difficulties processing information in the brain. You may also have fibromyalgia.

Words from someone who’s been there: Treat your sore body with physical therapies. Take hot baths. Sit in a sauna or hot a tub. Get a massage. Do whatever exercises you can do to loosen up. This could be anything from stretching, walking, or yoga to running. Find what works for you.

CHALLENGE: You can’t stop yourself from eating

If you’ve developed binge eating disorder it’s quite normal during severe depression. When the body is experiencing pain the brain goes into a survival mode seeking pleasure to help it cope and to keep you alive. When you can’t get happy sometimes food is the only thing that provides you with the pleasure you are craving.

At the neurological level, the brain acts before you take action. So, if you feel powerless with your urges, that is because you kind of are. When the brain is starved of the nutrients it needs to create serotonin, your body craves sugar and carbohydrates.

Words from someone who’s been there: Try to control your eating by staying away from food when it’s not meal time. When you do eat, eat in the company of others. Even though it might be embarrassing, ask others for support to keep food away from you by locking cupboards.

Do your best not to blame yourself if you can’t stop eating. It’s a phase that will pass. If you are gaining weight rapidly you can lose it when you are healthy. Weight comes and goes and it’s under your control. I personally gained 30lbs during my depression and lost it within 2 months during my recovery.

During this time, it’s important to eat a well balanced diet as best you can – carbs, protein, vegetables, fruits and dairy. Avoid eating processed foods. They will make the issue worse.

CHALLENGE: You don’t want to eat

If you have no appetite you may not be eating properly. That’s a major issue if you are trying to get healthy. It’s essential that you eat a well balanced healthy, process-free diet.

Words from someone who’s been there: Ask for support from someone close to you to help you eat. Eat with others if you can. If you really can’t bring yourself to eat, get a shake from a health store. It will help you get the nutrients you need to get better and it takes no effort to make or ingest.

CHALLENGE: Your body is weak but your mind is jumpy

You know what I mean if this is happening to you. You feel like a senior citizen but your brain is skipping from one thing to another. Or, you just find it impossible to concentrate on anything.

 Words from someone who’s been there: Busying yourself with a basic task like cleaning a room, playing a simple game, or painting a picture can help. Sometimes talking to someone can help stop the mental chatter. Music is another great thing to put in your ear. You may need to walk around with an ipod and a set of ear phones.

Sometimes nothing helps. The important thing to know is that it will get better. It’s just a phase. If it’s really bad, go to the emergency room. Sometimes physicians will prescribe a temporary sedative medicine to get you through a rough time.

 CHALLENGE: Your thinking about killing yourself but you don’t want to have to

When the pain of life is unbearable and you can’t see an end, it’s easy to get hopeless. If can’t stop thinking about suicide you are in an emergency situation. If the thoughts are going as far as to how you would take your life, you are not in a state to even trust yourself.

Words from someone who’s been there: If you are having suicidal thoughts that are persistent and constant the best thing to do is to let someone know. Choose someone you can feel comfortable talking to and who will be able to deal with what you say to them.

Call a crisis line for support. Call 911 for immediate assistance. Don’t think you can wait it out.