suicide prevention

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July 28, 2015 By Kay Walker

If you’re suffering from major depression and STRUGGLING TO STAY ALIVE, please know this: Your being happy and feeling good is NOT because it’s impossible for YOU to ever be happy or wake up to a life you love. Feeling good is not as far away as you think.

What’s between you and getting well is receiving the right type of support and learning the simple actions you need to take to recover.

…..because you don’t need another crisis line to call so you can talk to a volunteer who has minimal expertise in crisis intervention.

….because you don’t need another therapy session with a stuffy Ph.D who has had no firsthand experience with depression.

….because you don’t need to sit in a waiting room for twelve hours so you can see a doctor that will give you a sedative so you can get through your night and send you away with no real resources.

…because you don’t need to attend another community group therapy session where you listen to other people’s problems and get no resolution.

…because you don’t need to read another self-help book that’s written academically or at least is helpful but yet has not actionable steps for you take

….because you don’t need to read through another online resource that’s either a National website with suicide facts and FAQs, or a thrown-together personal site with opinions over real guidance.

…because you don’t need your name to go on another waitlist so you can spend two more months waiting to get into a hospital or see a therapist or doctor (that you’ll have to spend ample $$$ on to see)

When you hate your life and think about killing yourself daily WAITING is not an option. When you feel like this, each minute of your day lasts an eternity. All you want is the pain to go away.

And not tomorrow, or in a week, or month. RIGHT NOW.

Okay, so here’s your solution and it will change your life forever.

From: Kay Walker

Dear depressed and struggling friend,

Even though you’ve been having thoughts of suicide, the truth is, I know you don’t really want to kill yourself. If you wanted to die you wouldn’t be reading this page.

At times you may feel as though you really want to die. That there is nothing you can do to feel better or turn your life around. You may have even done the research.

Should you hang yourself? Overdose? Perhaps, a gun would be the easiest way to go?

Let me answer that one for you from experience, there is no easy way to kill yourself. All forms of death involve tremendous pain and suffering, more than what you are feeling now. And many people try and end up alive and maimed. (Just so you know the reality about the whole suicide thing.)

But the fact that you are vascilating on acting on the those thoughts means there is at least 1% of you that wants to stay alive.

There is still one brick in your pile of rubble. It’s all you need to start putting your house back together. (Whether you are sure if you want to or not).

And feeling better is not as far away as you may think it is. It’s also not as hard as you think. It only looks that way because you’re in pain right now, so everything seems impossible.

You’re probably having such negative thoughts that you don’t believe what I am saying. You don’t think YOU can ever get better. You think any action you take is too HARD. It’s all a painful mess. That’s part of the problem with depression.

So, it’s important you take your thoughts and feelings out of the REALITY of your situation. HERE IS THE TRUTH:

If you’re considering suicide you have major depression or you are in a situation of pain in your life that you’ve been dealing with for a long period of time and you’ve reached an emotional threshold – an inability to deal with it anymore.

Happy people don’t want to end their lives. This is as much as a law as gravity is.

Major Depression is caused by a brain chemical issue. Treat the physical problem with the right form treatment (good food, or an antidepressant or some natural supplements) and get better within as a little as two-to-six weeks.

If your dealing with life circumstances your trapped by (ie. financial trouble, abusive environments) – what I refer to as “situational depression”- is causing the pain you wake up to everyday, your solution is often much simpler.

Learn some skills for managing thoughts (that you probably never learned because it’s not something that is taught in school or formerly. It’s usually something we learn from our parents) and get better immediately. These types of tools can change how you think right away.

Your getting better is actually quite simple. It can “seem” more complicated because you’ve fallen into one or more of the following traps:

Trap 1: Your giving your feelings too much validity. When you’re depression what you feel often has nothing to do with reality. It’s your reality but it’s not real. It’s you putting a negative spin on everything. So how you see life and recovery is skewed by a negative filter that is always running.

It’s why getting better looks impossible and hard and not for YOU.

Again, what’s true is:

Getting better takes some simple actions

Getting better can happen as soon as one day from now and as long as a few months. Time is inevitable so your situation will change.

You have complete control over getting better.

90% of depressed people recover and lead healthy lives.

Getting better is for YOU. You are not different than any other human. You are an individual, yes, but you have a similar genetic makeup and disposition and problems. RECOVERY IS FOR YOU.

Trap 2: You have limited information on depression and the treatments available to you. If you don’t know natural remedies exist and only know about medications, you’ll take medications. You can only use the tools you have. When you increase the number of tools in your belt you have more options and one will likely be the one to fix your problem.

Trap 3: You’ve already learned a lot and explored treatment methods and you have not found a solution yet. You can’t bare to take any more time to learn anything else. You’ve given up. You feel you don’t have time. You do have time. Time is endless. You just need to learn tactics for dealing with your current pain and reducing symptoms. When you learn basic coping mechanisms they act as triage to get you through treatment exploration to find what works and recover. When you learn these coping strategies the time isn’t as bad.

This is why you need to do the 7 days to feel better course and get The Feel Better Now ebook. It’s an IMMEDIATE solution to all your current issues. You don’t have to wait for help. When you sign up, the course starts right away and you get the ebook automatically.

You’ll also stop having to do everything aimlessly and alone. I’ll be checking in with you multiple times a day. I’ll be sending you new tools, tips and tactics and cheer you on.

Because few people understand, like I do, how difficult recovery is and how badly sometimes you just need some encouragement so you can keep going. It’s nice to know the real deal from someone who has been there.

The added benefit is that I have formal training and expertise. The course lessons are routed in a study known as ontology that incorporates fundamentals in neuroscience and psychology. So you’ll learn:

Key factors that may have led to your depression
How to deal with negative thinking. How to separate thoughts from reality so you see life as truth and not through perception.
How to gain immediate confidence and triumph over stressful situations
A number of tools for relieving immediate symptoms
Simple worksheets that help you rewire unhealthy behavior patterns

After 7 days if you don’t feel you got value from the course you can ask for a full refund and I will send you back your money. It’s 100% guaranteed.

Though, I’m sure you agree it’s not much money. And you may be wondering why the course is so low. It’s simply because I want anyone who feels depressed or suicidal to be able to do it, no matter what your background or situation.

Not to mention, you may have all ready paid enough money on medications and therapies that haven’t helped you.

I believe in a help for all approach. I also believe it’s a right that you learn certain skills so you can succeed and build a life for yourself you never thought was possible.

And the money from the course is what’s use to fund these resources to help more people. So, it’s a bit of a pay it forward thing.

All the help you need is right here. Access your ebook and course right away.

How your digestive system affects your mood

July 15, 2015 By Kay Walker

If you’ve seen a health professional (or professionals) for depression and no one has asked you the question: “Are you regular?”, you need to understand how having a healthy bowel is related to your mood. (Aside from the fact that having irregular bowel movements is uncomfortable).

I learned about the connection in 2008. I was taking a low dose of an antidepressant (prescribed to me during my teen years) that I was trying to wean off of, and went to see a naturopathic doctor.

He asked me how often I passed a bowel movement. I explained I was constantly irregular: “Sometimes I only go once a week!” I told him. He explained that the situation was problematic and was likely causing my depressed mood. He prescribed me a combination of healthy bowel supplements, which I took by mouth. I started having daily bowel movements. My mood improved and I was able to discontinue my antidepressants. At the time, I never felt happier.

Your digestive system impacts your mood

Did you know, your body has two brains?

Your gut is the component of your digestive track that allows your body to digest food and process it into waste and eliminate it, by sending it out your anus.

What most people don’t know about the gut is that it works independently. It’s the only organ that works without being controlled by your cranial brain (the one inside your skull). That means, it’s also wired with a network of neurons (brain cells). There are approximately 400 to 600 million neurons in your gut.

For this reason, the gut is commonly called the “second brain” or “gut brain”. And it’s pre-empted a new school of research called neurogastroenterology.

How the cranial brain and gut brain interact

Your gut brain manufactures approximately 30 neurotransmitters (brain chemicals). It talks to the brain in your head, your cranial brain, by sending messages through a region at the based of your brain that extends to abdomen, called the vagus nerve.

Your gut brain sends signals to your cranial brain that affect feelings of sadness, stress and that influence your thinking processes. Both brains produce the neurotransmitter (chemical messenger) serotonin. And get this: Your gut produces 95 percent of all the serotonin in your body. Your guts also makes 50% of the dopamine (another feel good brain chemical) in your body.

So, are you regular?

Frequency: Are you passing a bowel anywhere from 1-3 times a day. These averages suggest a normal range, though some individuals go slightly less (3-5 times per week) and some go more (up to 4 times per day). As you long as you are going at least every other day and you feel comfortable (you’re not dealing with stomach pain or discomfort) it’s likely not affecting your mood.

Appearance: Your bowel movements should be a shade of brown. They are brown because your liver produces a substance called bile, which helps your body break down and eliminate food. If your stool (your poop) is black or has red in it, you may have blood in your stool. This may suggest other serious illnesses.

Ways to improve your bowel health

If you are irregular, you’ll want to tell your doctor. You’ll be able to learn ways to get your bowels back in working order.

You may also want to consider speaking to a naturopathic doctor. They may be more familiar with your the gut brain and cranial brain connection and will be able to suggest supplements to improve the function of your digestive system.

Supplements they may recommend are:

PREBIOTICS AND PROBIOTICS

Prebiotics are non-digestible fibers found in various foods that are used by the gut in the growth of bio cultures. They are food for an essential good bacteria your digestive system requires to function optimally, called probiotics. When prebiotics are present in the gut they induce metabolic activity, driving the growth of healthy bacteria in the intestine. They are found in foods which contain a source of dietary fiber called inulin.

Are dietary fibers that you don’t digest but that the gut uses to promote the growth of good bacteria in the gut. They are food for probiotics, which are good bacteria located in your gut.

Recent studies have also shown prebiotics and good bacterial gut balance play a direct role in mental health. Individuals who consume prebiotics on a daily basis have fewer issues with anxiety, depression and stress. In fact, when their saliva was tested, it contained lower levels of cortisol. High levels of this hormone have been linked directly to mental health disorders.

Stop negative behavior with this character modeling exercise

July 10, 2015 By Kay Walker

This tool was developed by Kay Walker, creator of this site and author of Read This Before You Kill Yourself

Stop negative behavior with this character modeling exercise

If your behavior does not match how you would like to behave, you can change it using what I call the Character Modeling tool. It’s an exercise I developed to help you quickly stop negative behavior and replace it with positive behaviors. Stop negative behavior with this character modeling exercise

When you identify a behavior you want to change, you can change it simply by stepping into the beingness of another person. This person can be fictional or factual. It’s like role playing. It uses “the fake it till you make it principle”, allowing you to act like someone else until you can learn how to do it yourself.

Here’s how to use the Character Modeling tool:

Step 1: Choose or create a person with the behaviors you’d like to exhibit. This should be a person you’d like to be like.

Step 2: Define all the character traits that person would exhibit in a similar situation to you. You can think of this before a given situation occurs or as it happens.

Step 3: Be that person. You do this by staying present to what that person would do and how they would behave if they faced the same situation. In a sense you are role playing.

Personally, I tend to use powerful famous women that I look up to. When I have to interview someone who intimates me I choose to be Oprah WInfrey.

Here is how I see Oprah’s behaviors during an interview: Confident, personable, empathetic, human (relatable), authentic, not trying to be perfect, genuine.

When I step into being these traits I almost forget who I am and the fears that are hold me back.

Why a safety contract is better than a safety plan

July 10, 2015 By Kay Walker

Suicide prevention courses often teach crisis support workers and loved ones to develop a safety plan with their suffering friends or family member. The safety plan is a step-by-step plan with contact information and actions that the suffering individual will take to stay safe when they feel that they are starting to consider suicide.

While I think this is valuable for some people, being someone who was once suicidal, I have trouble understanding the effectiveness of a safety plan. Because the fact of the matter is, if someone truly wants to end their life they will take the actions to do so and disregard the safety plan.

An easy way to understand this is to consider this analogy: A person committed to losing weight disregards eating healthy, in a moment of “feeling like a piece of cake” even when they have a plan to not eat the cake. The difference is suicide is irreversible.

So, here’s what I suggest is more effective to stopping someone commit suicide. It’s a contract that I’ve named the “Promise to live agreement”. This contract is signed by the suicidal person and a witness.

Reasons I suggest a contract is more effective than a safety plan:

Most people have a moral issue with breaking a contract.
This agreement is signed by a witness. Most people value what they promise and give their word to.
The contract stops the person from considering suicide and puts the idea on hold for a period of time. Sometimes telling someone they can’t do something spurs them to want to do it more.

Here is an example of a “Promise to live agreement”

Use this template as a basis and formulate one with your own negotiated stipulations.

PROMISE TO LIVE AGREEMENT

1: PROMISE TO ABSTAIN FROM SUICIDAL ACTION I promise not to take any actions towards ending my life for the next 3 days. Even though, I am in a lot of pain, by initialing this statement I will sustain from taking any harmful actions against myself (or that could endanger others). I will do my best to remember that thoughts and actions are two different things. Although I may experience thoughts of suicide I will not do anything about them.

Initial here: ________

2. PROMISE TO ABSTAIN FROM DRUGS AND ALCOHOL I understand that suicidal thoughts and my depression can worsen if I abuse substances such as drugs and alcohol. I promise that during over the next 3 days I will abstain from alcohol and drug use. (With the exception of medication that’s been described to treat your illness). I will also not abuse prescription drugs.

Initial here: ________

3. PROMISE TO CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT During the reading of this book, I will ensure I am in a safe environment. I will remove items myself, or get help from a loved one, to remove all items I could use to hurt myself. This includes: Firearms, knives and blades, ropes, chemicals (including household cleaning products) and large amounts of pills. I will have a loved one monitor and distribute any prescription medicine I need during this time.

Initial here: ________

4. PROMISE TO DISCLOSE DISTRESS IN IMMEDIATE CRISIS If at any moment I feel unable to control my urges, or that my situation worsens during the next 3 days I promise to call 911.

Initial here: ________

Your signature : ________________________Witness:_______________________ Date: _________

Need more information so you can help a loved one who is considering suicide? Purchase this book that will teach you everything you need to know about suicide prevention: http://depression.zone/suicide-prevention-book

What’s DBT? (stands for Dialectical behavior therapy)

June 22, 2015 By Kay Walker

DBT has become one of the most popular forms of conventional therapeutic treatment methods for patients suffering from mental disorders. Here’s a brief summary of what it is and how it works so you can decide whether to continue to explore this methodology.

What’s DBT? (stands for Dialectical behavior therapy):

An overview of DBT:

“DBT”, as it’s most commonly known, stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is a type of cognitive behavior therapy (see above for the definition of CBT). It involves a dual component process of:

Acknowledging and accepting your current behaviors, and
learning to change them.

The acceptance allows you to be present to your reality (helps you live in the “now”) versus thinking about or referencing the past. It also allows you to recognize what’s not working so you can work on changing it.

A large component of DBT involves a skill called “mindfulness” (covered in SECTION 5). This skill teaches you how to look at emotions and situations objectively and without judgement.

The accepting component also means not being frustrated about making mistakes as you learn to create new patterns of behavior.

Core skills taught by DBT:

There are four core skills taught in DBT, each one teaches how to choose how you will behave in a specific situation.

Mindfulness: Learning how to live from the present and be conscious of your feelings, thoughts and actions without be judgmental. Mindfulness is covered in greater depth in SECTION 5, but here is a quick example of what it means to be mindful: If you were being mindful right now your focus would be on reading the words on the page in front of you. You may also notice sounds and the temperature of your environment. You may notice your thoughts and how you are feeling about what you are reading. But, you only notice and don’t react to these various parts that make up your present experience right now at this moment.

Distress tolerance: Learning how to be non-reactive to stressful situations. It’s about learning how to tolerate versus change something that is uncomfortable. Allowing yourself to deal with momentary pain may help you achieve an outcome you actually desire. For example, a marathon runner who wants to win may have to tolerate physical and mental pain all the way to the finish line.

Interpersonal effectiveness: Learning how to interact with other people so you can maintain good relationships that involve mutual respect. Learning how to make requests and say no to the requests from others if and when you need to.

Emotion regulation: Learning which emotions serve you and which ones don’t; and how to shift them. Learning how not to immediately react to emotions without thinking about the consequences or the facts.

DBT involves a combination of four types of treatment:

Participants of DBT learn the tactics it teaches in three ways:

Group training
Individual therapy
Phone coaching

Group therapy sessions typically run for 24 weeks to cover the entire DBT curriculum. Participants meet for one 2.5 hour session. The group therapy is taught in a similar style to a traditional classroom. An instructor teaches DBT concepts and assigns homework.

How DBT therapists are different than other therapists

DBT therapists also participate in therapy. They meet with other DBT counsellors in a group setting where they develop skills, get help from other therapists for their own patients and stay motivated.

The therapist is allowed to empathize with the patient. Which means, acknowledging what they are dealing with versus take on a role of being the expert and not expressing emotion (as is the case with some therapies). The alliance is based on a “tough love” type of principle. Much like a parent-child relationship, where the parent ensures that the child takes actions in line with what is good for them, even if they don’t want to.

The use of acronyms as teaching tool

DBT uses a great deal of acronyms to help participants easily learn and remember the new skills they’re taught. Here is an example of one of the acronyms. It is used to teach good interpersonal behaviors

The “GIVE” acronym:

GIVE: These skills are to be used in communicating with others. It helps you to be great with other people and make them feel comfortable when they speak to you.

Gentle: Use appropriate language always. Do not verbally attack people. Don’t put them down even in frustrating situations. Be non judgemental in your communication with others.
Interested: When the person you are speaking to is talking about something try your best to remain engaged. Listen to what they are saying. Show you are listening with your body’s cues. Make eye contact. Nod your head.
Validate: Show your understanding by nodding your head or responding.
Easy Manner: When you speak to people be relaxed. Smile and laugh.