Kay Walker – Page 4

How do I stop negative thoughts?

July 24, 2015 By Kay Walker

Trying to explain major depression to someone who has never truly experienced is close to impossible. I liken it to a woman explaining to a man what it feels like to give birth. Or, for a woman to think about what it’s like to give birth before they actually do it. It’s very difficult to describe the physical experience without going through it firsthand.

When an individual is struggling with a major depression they have negative thoughts that they can’t turn off. The thoughts never stop and the affect how that person experiences the world. So in relation they’ll take actions to deal with the thoughts by trying to escape them or trying to feel pleasure. Common actions are: Sleeping, substance abuse, self-harm, overeating.

To someone who has never experienced depression you may see these actions as laziness or reckless behavior. They are simply coping mechanisms, and quite often they are used to help the person get through their day and try to push away the pervasive negative thoughts.

This article will help you understand what’s going on inside the body of a depressed person and how it affects their thoughts and their life experience.

How do I stop negative thoughts?

Why is it difficult to think positively when a person is dealing with depression?

Major depression is caused by a brain chemical imbalance, so at the physiological level it is impossible for an individual who is suffering to think positively. That is, until they treat the brain chemical issue.

It’s easy to understand this if you think about how your body functions. Your brain is your control center, which allows you to produce thoughts, to experience the world, and to interact with the world using your motor skills. When a system in your brain malfunctions (there are a number of reasons why this happens), then it can alter the way you perceive the world.

There are a number of key brain regions and neurochemicals that are connected to mood. A person with major depression has a malfunction in the communication pathways that allow them to experience pleasure. External input from your senses is still processed, but the functions for positive mood are essentially “turned off”. Therefore a person with depression can only experience their environment as negative.

There is no specific formula that leads to major depression because there are many different causes:

Brain regions. There are brain regions connected to mood that when damaged or impacted by disease, accidents or hormonal changes, can malfunction. Common regions that can malfunction include: Amygdala, Thalamus, Ventromedial cortex, Hippocampus

Brain chemicals. There are brain chemicals connected to mood that can be affected by poor health choices related to diet, drug use, hormonal shifts, disease and damage to the physical brain. Common ones are: Serotonin, Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Acetylcholine, Glutamate, Gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA).

Genetics. Scientists suspect that genetics may play a role in mood. There have been many research studies, although this link is not well understood.

Neuroplasticity. The way you learn to think about situations and deal with emotions also plays a role in mood. Through a process known as neuroplasticity, your brain’s anatomy alters. It creates and prunes communication pathways as you experience the world. Brain patterns are reinforced as you repeat behaviors. That includes negative behavior patterns. As these are reinforced, they become automatic, and can result in depression.

What you can do to interrupt negative thinking:

Be aware. Understand that thoughts are not reality. Life is experienced through perception, which is made up of what we learn and believe. It’s subjective. So what seems true or real for one person is not for another. Understanding that your thoughts are not a reflection of reality, can give you the ability to disrupt negative thinking and choose not to respond to them. Lack of awareness of your thoughts can result in automatic actions. So if you think you are a “loser” and believe that you are one, then you will act like one. If you are aware of this thought however, you can acknowledge the thought as just a thought, then take different actions.

Diversion. When negative thoughts cycle around in your head sometimes the best thing to do is to divert those thoughts by distracting yourself. Here are some activities:

Visual art activities that are very basic, such as painting ceramics, creating an abstract painting
Gardening
Using an guided audio meditation or visualization exercise to help you relax
Listening to music through earphones
Watching television or a movie
Spending time with or talking to someone you love
Spending time with animals
Physical activities

Learn how to use affirmations. These are positive statements that you say to yourself in your head or out loud that help you separate what is real from what is not. Even using the affirmation “these negative thoughts are not real, they don’t mean anything” can stop you from being affected by the negative thoughts.

Why learning objective thinking skills is important:

When a depressed person get treated for the brain chemical issue that’s causing a depressed mood, one of the best things they can do is learn positive thinking skills. These skills are not commonly taught in formal education, so most people never learn how to deal with challenging situations in proactive ways.

A popular treatment used by psychologists and therapists today is called Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). A key tenet of CBT teaches patients that thoughts are made up of two components. Reality: What actually happened. And unreality: what we think about what happened. The latter is generated by our beliefs and what we learned in the past. Because of this thoughts can become “warped” so that you start to believe things that aren’t true.

An easy way to learn to look at situations clearly is to separate facts from feelings in any complex situations you are dealing with. Here’s an example.

A young boy gets attacked and bitten by the neighbor’s dog, name Duke. Each time thereafter when he sees a dog his thoughts are: “I need to stay away from that dog. It might bite me”. His way of protecting himself from dogs is to avoid them. Overtime, the more dogs he avoids, the more he becomes afraid and reinforces the thought “dogs are dangerous”.

If he were to separate the facts here’s what it would look like:

When I was young, I was bitten by the neighbor’s dog.
The neighbor never trained the dog, so the dog likely did not learn good behaviors
The neighbors did not take safe measures to tie up their dog
There are many dogs in the world. Different sizes and types. Some are well trained and some aren’t

Based on the facts the thought “dogs are dangerous” makes no sense in reality. The truth is one dog was dangerous: the neighbor’s dog Duke. So other dogs may be very kind and loving. Going through that thought process would allow the boy in the example to eventually learn to enjoy dogs.

When you learn to think objectively what actually happens is neither negative or positive. There is what is, in reality, and what you choose to belief about it. So, if you learn to think positively about a situation you can learn to take proactive behaviors that will help you build a better life.

How your digestive system affects your mood

July 15, 2015 By Kay Walker

If you’ve seen a health professional (or professionals) for depression and no one has asked you the question: “Are you regular?”, you need to understand how having a healthy bowel is related to your mood. (Aside from the fact that having irregular bowel movements is uncomfortable).

I learned about the connection in 2008. I was taking a low dose of an antidepressant (prescribed to me during my teen years) that I was trying to wean off of, and went to see a naturopathic doctor.

He asked me how often I passed a bowel movement. I explained I was constantly irregular: “Sometimes I only go once a week!” I told him. He explained that the situation was problematic and was likely causing my depressed mood. He prescribed me a combination of healthy bowel supplements, which I took by mouth. I started having daily bowel movements. My mood improved and I was able to discontinue my antidepressants. At the time, I never felt happier.

Your digestive system impacts your mood

Did you know, your body has two brains?

Your gut is the component of your digestive track that allows your body to digest food and process it into waste and eliminate it, by sending it out your anus.

What most people don’t know about the gut is that it works independently. It’s the only organ that works without being controlled by your cranial brain (the one inside your skull). That means, it’s also wired with a network of neurons (brain cells). There are approximately 400 to 600 million neurons in your gut.

For this reason, the gut is commonly called the “second brain” or “gut brain”. And it’s pre-empted a new school of research called neurogastroenterology.

How the cranial brain and gut brain interact

Your gut brain manufactures approximately 30 neurotransmitters (brain chemicals). It talks to the brain in your head, your cranial brain, by sending messages through a region at the based of your brain that extends to abdomen, called the vagus nerve.

Your gut brain sends signals to your cranial brain that affect feelings of sadness, stress and that influence your thinking processes. Both brains produce the neurotransmitter (chemical messenger) serotonin. And get this: Your gut produces 95 percent of all the serotonin in your body. Your guts also makes 50% of the dopamine (another feel good brain chemical) in your body.

So, are you regular?

Frequency: Are you passing a bowel anywhere from 1-3 times a day. These averages suggest a normal range, though some individuals go slightly less (3-5 times per week) and some go more (up to 4 times per day). As you long as you are going at least every other day and you feel comfortable (you’re not dealing with stomach pain or discomfort) it’s likely not affecting your mood.

Appearance: Your bowel movements should be a shade of brown. They are brown because your liver produces a substance called bile, which helps your body break down and eliminate food. If your stool (your poop) is black or has red in it, you may have blood in your stool. This may suggest other serious illnesses.

Ways to improve your bowel health

If you are irregular, you’ll want to tell your doctor. You’ll be able to learn ways to get your bowels back in working order.

You may also want to consider speaking to a naturopathic doctor. They may be more familiar with your the gut brain and cranial brain connection and will be able to suggest supplements to improve the function of your digestive system.

Supplements they may recommend are:

PREBIOTICS AND PROBIOTICS

Prebiotics are non-digestible fibers found in various foods that are used by the gut in the growth of bio cultures. They are food for an essential good bacteria your digestive system requires to function optimally, called probiotics. When prebiotics are present in the gut they induce metabolic activity, driving the growth of healthy bacteria in the intestine. They are found in foods which contain a source of dietary fiber called inulin.

Are dietary fibers that you don’t digest but that the gut uses to promote the growth of good bacteria in the gut. They are food for probiotics, which are good bacteria located in your gut.

Recent studies have also shown prebiotics and good bacterial gut balance play a direct role in mental health. Individuals who consume prebiotics on a daily basis have fewer issues with anxiety, depression and stress. In fact, when their saliva was tested, it contained lower levels of cortisol. High levels of this hormone have been linked directly to mental health disorders.

Stop negative behavior with this character modeling exercise

July 10, 2015 By Kay Walker

This tool was developed by Kay Walker, creator of this site and author of Read This Before You Kill Yourself

Stop negative behavior with this character modeling exercise

If your behavior does not match how you would like to behave, you can change it using what I call the Character Modeling tool. It’s an exercise I developed to help you quickly stop negative behavior and replace it with positive behaviors. Stop negative behavior with this character modeling exercise

When you identify a behavior you want to change, you can change it simply by stepping into the beingness of another person. This person can be fictional or factual. It’s like role playing. It uses “the fake it till you make it principle”, allowing you to act like someone else until you can learn how to do it yourself.

Here’s how to use the Character Modeling tool:

Step 1: Choose or create a person with the behaviors you’d like to exhibit. This should be a person you’d like to be like.

Step 2: Define all the character traits that person would exhibit in a similar situation to you. You can think of this before a given situation occurs or as it happens.

Step 3: Be that person. You do this by staying present to what that person would do and how they would behave if they faced the same situation. In a sense you are role playing.

Personally, I tend to use powerful famous women that I look up to. When I have to interview someone who intimates me I choose to be Oprah WInfrey.

Here is how I see Oprah’s behaviors during an interview: Confident, personable, empathetic, human (relatable), authentic, not trying to be perfect, genuine.

When I step into being these traits I almost forget who I am and the fears that are hold me back.

Mindfulness exercises for depression

July 10, 2015 By Kay Walker

One form of therapy that helps with depression is mindfulness. It has been show as a highly effective method to help resolve the symptoms of depression. (See mindfulness-based cognitive therapy article)

Mindfulness exercises for depression

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the act of maintaining moment-by-moment awareness of your thoughts, feelings, the sensations your body experiences, as well as, your surroundings. It involves being non-judgmental of each experience that you observe. From this perspective there is no morality, no “right” or “wrong”.

The practice comes from the fundamentals of Buddhist meditation. In 1979 a secularized version of mindfulness was used in Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), that was launched at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

This new form of mindfulness can also be practiced without mediation. It is done while you conduct yourself as you would normally, though you do it with a heightened sense of awareness to what’s going on during the present moment.

What’s the purpose of mindfulness?

The purpose of mindfulness is to heighten your sense of awareness of yourself. This way you learn to see yourself from a perspective an outside view. You see in yourself as another person may experience you. The notion is that when you learn to see yourself more clearly you can learn how to deal with your thoughts, feelings and behaviors in a way that is proactive and beneficial for what you truly desire.

Mindfulness training teaches you:

How to notice what you experience at any given moment. Being in a mindful state is like observing an object under a microscope. You don’t just see the object, you see all facets of the object.
Be aware of your sensations and your breathing, and avoid reacting to negative emotions.
Recognize your thoughts and how they create your emotional experience. Learn that your thoughts and feelings change, and are not based in reality.
Get more joy out of life by being hyper-focused on the experience of life.

A quick exercise in mindfulness: An easy way to understand mindfulness is to take five minutes to do this quick exercise:

Prepare a small segment of orange. If you don’t have an orange you can use a different piece of fruit, or a small piece of food (like chocolate).
Set a five-minute timer.
Sit in a quiet place with little distractions.
From the moment you start the timer you will spend five minutes examining the orange (or piece of food). Look at it as if you are looking at it under a microscope. Observe the texture of its peel. Observe it’s pulp. Observe the color. Smell the orange. Now put the orange in your mouth. Feel the way it feels. Take a bite. Taste it but don’t indulge in the flavor. Mindfulness is about observing how something is without judgement. If you have thoughts about how good it tastes acknowledge your thoughts and bring your awareness back to the orange. Experience the orange for the entire five minutes.

Spending five minutes observing an orange may seem silly. The point is to learn how to refine your awareness. It’s also to learn to accept how things are, to accept reality without judging it. Mindfulness practice helps you to understand why you do the things you do. When you understand that you are doing something, or what thoughts are involved in making you behave in ways you don’t want to, you can learn to choose new ways of handling situations.

How to be a health advocate for someone who is suicidal or depressed

July 10, 2015 By Kay Walker

What is a health advocate?

A health advocate is someone who has been appointed to help care for and manage the affairs of the sick individual. They do not need to have any medical qualification, just a commitment to help support the sick person.

Why health advocates are necessary for people with depression

Here’s some advice I always give to people who are struggling with major depression, which explains why they need to appoint someone to be a health advocate:

When you were a kid your mom likely stayed home from work to take care of you when you were sick. She made you chicken soup. She bathed you. She wrapped you up in a blanket. She kissed you. She was in charge of taking care of you, so you could be in charge of focusing on getting healthy.

When you’re depressed it’s the same thing. You need help and care from those around you. Though, you may be trying to do things yourself because when you don’t have physical symptoms you may think it’s up to you to “pull yourself together”.

Depression is neurological disorder. You need to heal even if you can’t see that you need to heal. Give yourself time.

Once you’ve been labeled with a mental illness you can seen as “unreliable” and “unstable” in the eyes of the world. Mood irregularity is a symptom and so, sometimes people think you can’t be trusted, and you may not be seeing things for what they really are. Whether it’s true or not, this is what many people think and believe. That includes professionals.

If you appoint yourself or ask for permission to be a health advocate for your loved one, here are some of the crucial roles you’ll need to play:

Character alibi: Vouch for their character and help explain their actions. This will help professionals understand what is “normal” behavior for them.

Safety monitor: You’ll need to keep an eye on them. Call and check on them frequently. Make sure they are safe. Ensure their environment is safe.

Someone to talk to who will listen and be supportive: Sometimes they need to vent or share their pain with someone. It helps you get it out. And being listened to and understood can make them feel less alone.

A second in command: You can take over and perform specific tasks when they aren’t able to. You can do things like: Pick their kids up and drive them to school, deliver a meal, or, take your dogs for walk.

Finance manager: When you’re sick unfortunately the bills you have to pay don’t go away. You can help them reduce their costs, communicate with credit collectors and banks, or, pay bills and make trips to the back. You might also help financially (but only if you’d like to and are able to, and don’t expect anything in return).

Spokesperson: You can talk for the when they can’t.