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How to be a health advocate for someone who is suicidal or depressed

July 10, 2015 By Kay Walker

How to be a health advocate for someone who is suicidal or depressedWhat is a health advocate?

A health advocate is someone who has been appointed to help care for and manage the affairs of the sick individual. They do not need to have any medical qualification, just a commitment to help support the sick person.

Why health advocates are necessary for people with depression

Here’s some advice I always give to people who are struggling with major depression, which explains why they need to appoint someone to be a health advocate:

When you were a kid your mom likely stayed home from work to take care of you when you were sick.  She made you chicken soup. She bathed you. She wrapped you up in a blanket. She kissed you.  She was in charge of taking care of you, so you could be in charge of focusing on getting healthy.

When you’re depressed it’s the same thing. You need help and care from those around you.  Though, you may be trying to do things yourself because when you don’t have physical symptoms you may think it’s up to you to “pull yourself together”.

Depression is neurological disorder.  You need to heal even if you can’t see that you need to heal. Give yourself time.

Once you’ve been labeled with a mental illness you can seen as “unreliable” and “unstable” in the eyes of the world.  Mood irregularity is a symptom and so, sometimes people think you can’t be trusted, and you may not be seeing things for what they really are.  Whether it’s true or not, this is what many people think and believe. That includes professionals.

If you appoint yourself or ask for permission to be a health advocate for your loved one, here are some of the crucial roles you’ll need to play:

Character alibi: Vouch for their character and help explain their actions. This will help professionals understand what is “normal” behavior for them.

Safety monitor: You’ll need to keep an eye on them. Call and check on them frequently. Make sure they are safe. Ensure their environment is safe.

Someone to talk to who will listen and be supportive:  Sometimes they need to vent or share their pain with someone. It helps you get it out. And being listened to and understood can make them feel less alone.

A second in command: You can take over and perform specific tasks when they aren’t able to. You can do things like: Pick their kids up and drive them to school, deliver a meal, or, take your dogs for walk.

Finance manager: When you’re sick unfortunately the bills you have to pay don’t go away. You can help them reduce their costs, communicate with credit collectors and banks, or, pay bills and make trips to the back. You might also help financially (but only if you’d like to and are able to, and don’t expect anything in return).

Spokesperson: You can talk for the when they can’t.

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: advocate, depressed, health, someone, suicidal

Feeling suicidal? Do these 5 things

June 11, 2015 By Kay Walker Leave a Comment

Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now

Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: “I will wait 24 hours and won’t do anything drastic during that time.” Or, wait a week.

Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There’s is no deadline, no one pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.

Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol

Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.

Step #3: Make your home safe

Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.

Step #4: Take hope—people DO get through this

Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.

Step #5: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself

Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a friend, a therapist, a member of the clergy, a teacher, a family doctor, a coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a helpline. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: feeling, suicidal, these, things

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