major depression

There is no formula that leads to depression. Based on the most advanced research it can involve either physiological processes, or external circumstances, or both. This is what makes it difficult for doctors — especially if they are only seeing you once — to understand the factors that are playing a role in your situation.

Think of depression (and mental illness) like a case of “which comes first — chicken or the egg?”. Except in this case, it’s more like which came first, “the mood or the behavior?”. That is to say, did some malfunction occur in the way your body works? Or, did something happen to you that caused a change, overtime, in your brain chemistry?

And, are you truly depressed from a chemical imbalance. Or, are you simply stressed and have learned to deal with it through avoidance behaviors?

This next section will help you decipher the difference. You won’t read this explanation anywhere else. A doctor may tell you different but based on what I know about depression this is how I see it and explain it.

How can you get depression? There are two ways it develops and they are often connected

Neurological contributors that cause depression

Shifts in your biology during different development periods and/or as a result of your own actions can lead to brain chemical imbalances. Here are the two ways your brain chemistry can be affected:

a) Developmental: Changes happen naturally as your body hits developmental milestones, such as hormonal shifts.

For example, there are studies that suggest that women during perimenopause (the period leading up to menopause) may be more susceptible to depression due to decline in the hormone estrogen.

b) Intentional: There are actions you can take that lead to depression. If you aren’t eating healthy foods (we’ll get to this later) it can negatively affect your mood.

This is easy to understand if you think about the effects you may experience from exercise. Immediately after you exercise your brain receives a surge of chemicals called endorphins. They cause you to feel relaxed and joyful.

So, if you aren’t taking care of yourself. Or, you encounter a developmental milestone, it’s important to be aware that these physiological factors can greatly affect the way you feel.

Circumstantial contributors that cause depression

Throughout your life, small or large traumas can happen to you (with or without your control). When they happen to you the way you learn from them can lead to negative thought and unhealthy behavioral patterns.

Your brain is hardwired to ensure your survival. It’s simply a information processing system. So based on outside events, it learns how to act. Your brain actually makes a decision on what to do before you take action.

Your thoughts also lead to changes in your brain’s anatomy. Those structural changes can lead to brain chemical issues.

Here’s how:

Thought patterns over time cement new pathways. And pathways can result in chronic negative thoughts. Your brain anatomy naturally adapts and prunes communication pathways that aren’t being used properly. This process is known in scientific circles as: Neuroplasticity. So if you are sad for a long time it can actually lead to neurological changes in your brain’s anatomy and function.

If you’re depressed, it’s likely that it’s taking way too long for you to get the help you need. The question is, what do you do in the meantime?

Especially, when you’re unable to work, your body aches, you don’t want to talk to anyone, and all you want to do is hide in the dark and sleep.

Here’s a list of some of the challenges you could be dealing with right now and ways to deal with them powerfully from someone who has been there.

Depressed and waiting to get professional help: Common challenges

CHALLENGE: You don’t want to socialize with anyone

Right now, for you, talking could take too much of effort. It can be extremely stressful when you have to explain what you’re dealing with. Or, defend yourself for not wanting to be social. You could also be suffering from feelings of guilt. You might be thinking you’re a burden to others and you don’t want to put them out by letting them know how bad you feel.

Words from someone who’s been there: Don’t put yourself down for not wanting to be social at this point of your life. It’s okay. Give yourself a break. Allow yourself to be alone if you need to.

What is important though, is that you are as honest as possible (as you feel comfortable being) with people who are closest to you. Be straight with them. Teach them how to communicate with you. Tell them how much time you need to be alone. If you tell them what you are going through when you feel better you won’t have to deal with a trail of broken relationships.

CHALLENGE: Your body aches

Physically your body might be in breakdown. If you feel like you are 100 years old it’s because biologically there could be things happening to you that are causing your body to go into slow motion.

The cause could be stress, which leads to inflammation in the body and tension in the muscles. Or, it could be a neurological issue causing you to have difficulties processing information in the brain. You may also have fibromyalgia.

Words from someone who’s been there: Treat your sore body with physical therapies. Take hot baths. Sit in a sauna or hot a tub. Get a massage. Do whatever exercises you can do to loosen up. This could be anything from stretching, walking, or yoga to running. Find what works for you.

CHALLENGE: You can’t stop yourself from eating

If you’ve developed binge eating disorder it’s quite normal during severe depression. When the body is experiencing pain the brain goes into a survival mode seeking pleasure to help it cope and to keep you alive. When you can’t get happy sometimes food is the only thing that provides you with the pleasure you are craving.

At the neurological level, the brain acts before you take action. So, if you feel powerless with your urges, that is because you kind of are. When the brain is starved of the nutrients it needs to create serotonin, your body craves sugar and carbohydrates.

Words from someone who’s been there: Try to control your eating by staying away from food when it’s not meal time. When you do eat, eat in the company of others. Even though it might be embarrassing, ask others for support to keep food away from you by locking cupboards.

Do your best not to blame yourself if you can’t stop eating. It’s a phase that will pass. If you are gaining weight rapidly you can lose it when you are healthy. Weight comes and goes and it’s under your control. I personally gained 30lbs during my depression and lost it within 2 months during my recovery.

During this time, it’s important to eat a well balanced diet as best you can – carbs, protein, vegetables, fruits and dairy. Avoid eating processed foods. They will make the issue worse.

CHALLENGE: You don’t want to eat

If you have no appetite you may not be eating properly. That’s a major issue if you are trying to get healthy. It’s essential that you eat a well balanced healthy, process-free diet.

Words from someone who’s been there: Ask for support from someone close to you to help you eat. Eat with others if you can. If you really can’t bring yourself to eat, get a shake from a health store. It will help you get the nutrients you need to get better and it takes no effort to make or ingest.

CHALLENGE: Your body is weak but your mind is jumpy

You know what I mean if this is happening to you. You feel like a senior citizen but your brain is skipping from one thing to another. Or, you just find it impossible to concentrate on anything.

Words from someone who’s been there: Busying yourself with a basic task like cleaning a room, playing a simple game, or painting a picture can help. Sometimes talking to someone can help stop the mental chatter. Music is another great thing to put in your ear. You may need to walk around with an ipod and a set of ear phones.

Sometimes nothing helps. The important thing to know is that it will get better. It’s just a phase. If it’s really bad, go to the emergency room. Sometimes physicians will prescribe a temporary sedative medicine to get you through a rough time.

CHALLENGE: Your thinking about killing yourself but you don’t want to have to

When the pain of life is unbearable and you can’t see an end, it’s easy to get hopeless. If can’t stop thinking about suicide you are in an emergency situation. If the thoughts are going as far as to how you would take your life, you are not in a state to even trust yourself.

Words from someone who’s been there: If you are having suicidal thoughts that are persistent and constant the best thing to do is to let someone know. Choose someone you can feel comfortable talking to and who will be able to deal with what you say to them.

Call a crisis line for support. Call 911 for immediate assistance. Don’t think you can wait it out.