Kay Walker

Self-care: Are you getting enough?

February 25, 2016 By Kay Walker

What is self-care?

Self care is a set of intentional actions you take to nourish, or in other words, be kind to your physical and mental well-being. The different between fun and self care is that self care makes you feel relaxed, whereas, fun energizes you.

Self-care: Are you getting enough?

Common actions of self care are:

Getting a massage
Giving yourself a massage
Taking a hot bath
Sitting in a sauna
Going to a spa
Getting a manicure or pedicure
Getting a haircut
Meditating
Watching a movie or TV
Spending time with family members or friends that make you feel happy
Taking your dog for a walk
Petting an animal
Walking in nature
Gardening
Cooking and eating a wholesome meal
Sleeping
Listening to music you enjoy
Sex
Masturbation
Reading a fiction novel
Painting an abstract picture
Swimming
Sitting in a hot tub
Travel
Shopping

Why self-care is easy to forget about

Many self-care actions are not considered “productive” actions in North American Society. (ie. What does getting a pedicure have to do with anything?). This is why it’s also not a learned skill, it’s a choice. So, most people don’t naturally put self care in their schedules. It is easily overlooked because it is not something you have to do, or necessary for your survival. Most of us learn to do the things we have to do before what we need to do for our health because doing what we have to do ensures our survival.

A good self care rule to stick to:

At a minimum, ensure you take at least three self care actions per week to ensure a you maintain a positive mental state. At maximum consider incorporating this rule “treat yourself as you would treat a baby”. It is a good way to nourish your physical and mental state, and keep it top of mind.

When you “treat yourself as you would treat a baby” your actions are correlate, so you most likely only eat natural and wholesome foods, you make sure to dress impeccably, you go to sleep on time (or allow yourself some naps), you play and have fun, you work your body (like a baby practices their motor skills).

What to do when you can’t afford health insurance and you’re depressed

February 25, 2016 By Kay Walker

When you have a mental health condition, in many cases you are unable to work. If you live in the U.S. this can be especially problematic because it can affect your ability to received health insurance coverage. So, if you find yourself having difficulty getting the help you need because you can’t afford it, refer to the list in this article. Below, there are ten possible things you can do to deal with what may seem like a devastating and impossible situation.

And remember: Your health is the most important thing in your life. If you aren’t healthy you can’t live and enjoy life. It’s not a possibility to give up on getting the healthcare you need even when something as tough as lack of finances stands in your way. There are things you can do. Although you feel alone you are not the first person to deal with this issue. In many states, there a funded resources to help people in need.

What to do when you can’t afford health insurance and you’re depressed

Search for sliding scale therapists. Many therapists offer what’s called a sliding scale fee, which means you pay a rate per therapy session that is based on your income level. This could be as little as $20 per session. It’s helpful for you and for them. Many therapists don’t like to have to turn away business to those who need it most. They realize the truth of the market they’re in, that many people with mental illness cannot afford therapy.

Look into federally funded programs. In many states there are federally run programs. For many of them you can participate by a pay by donation fee of what you can afford. To find a center near you visit: http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/

Seek out local organizations and crisis resource centers. Your city or state may have crisis organizations and centers that help community members dealing with many issues, including mental illness. In many areas you can access one of these centers simply by dialing 211.

Look into patient-assistance programs provided by pharmaceutical companies.If you’ve been to a doctor and have been prescribed a medication that you can’t afford you can see if the pharmaceutical company that manufactures your offers a patient-assistance payment program. If you need prescription assistance visitPartnership for Patient Assistance for more information.

Are you eligible for Medicaid coverage? If you are a U.S. citizen with a low income or a disability you may be able to apply for Medicaid and CHIP. They provide free or low-cost health coverage to millions of Americans, this includes people with mental health issues. Programs are run by federal and state governments together so the details vary between states.

Use the free immediate help features on this site. ReadThisBeforeYouKillYourself.com has a suite of free and low-cost resources specifically created for people suffering from depression, mental health issues and who may be considering suicide. You can use the Ask an Expert feature to send an anonymous question to a team of healthcare experts, or take the 7-day Feel Better Now program that will teach you tactics for immediate pain relief.

Use Quora. Have a question for an health care expert? You can also use Quora to post an inquiry and get it answered by many professionals. They can help point in the right direction.

Participate in clinical trials. It may not sound ideal but participating in a clinical trial can be a free way to get the therapy and drugs that may be able to help you. There are many research studies being conducted across the country and many are at the forefront of the latest therapies for treating mental health.

Appoint a health advocate. As you read through this list of options you may feel overwhelmed and exhausted by everything you need to do. Appoint someone in your life to help you navigate the healthcare system. This person can do all the research and find the resources for you, when you can’t do it yourself.

Don’t give up. No matter how alone you feel, there are thousands of people who want to know about what you are dealing with and who are waiting to help you. Sometimes acknowledging that you don’t know what to do and asking people in your life to help you will give you the support you need to succeed.

Need help now? Use the Ask an Expert. Let us know what you need by providing us with a question and the details of your situation. It’s anonymous and you’ll get a response within 24 hours.

Teen depression and types of depression

February 22, 2016 By Kay Walker

There are six common types of major depression and they are listed with symptoms below. It’s important to familiarize yourself with the different types so you can understand if your teen is dealing with one of them.

It’s also important you understand that teen depression has some distinctive features, here they are:

Teen depression symptoms

In additional to the regular symptoms of depression, a teen with depression may exhibit:

Irritability
Self harm
Negative emotions expressed in art
Skipping school or bad grades
Lack of socialization with other teens or lack of drive to be social
Abusing substances
Complaining about physical symptoms like headaches or stomach ache
Highly sensitive to criticism

Types of major depression

Major depressive disorder, also referred to as unipolar depression

Interferes with ability to function
Affects all areas of life – relationships, work, sleep eating
Episodes may occur several times in a person’s life
Slowed movements, speech and thinking, speak less, some stop speaking
Have recurring thoughts about their own death – range from thinking about it to seriously considering

Manic-depressive disorders, more commonly known as bipolar disorder

Serious mental illness involving episodes of depression that alternate with mania. Mania is feelings or greatness and elation, sudden energy, and feeling uncontrollable power. Sometimes depression and mania occur simultaneously shifting from one to the other rapidly.

Dysthymic disorder

Milder form of depression that lasts longer.
Feeling of melancholy
Unable to get really excited about life
Can still function but feel gloomy

Seasonal Affective disorder

Often brought on in the winter months, though it can occur as a reverse
Could be a result of disruption of circadian rhythm or lack of Vitamin D
Full spectrum lights can help
Less that 2% of people in Florida have SAD, while 10% of people in New Hampshire do

Psychotic depression

15% of depressed people experience delusions or hallucinations
Often need to be hospitalized to prevent themselves from suicide

Postpartum depression

4 weeks – year after a woman gives birth
Most women experience baby blues, postpartum is far more severe
May involve delusions or hurting themselves or their newborn
Many women feel a great amount of guilt
10% of new mothers

Stress-relieving financial blueprint to help you while you get well

February 19, 2016 By Kay Walker

Many people who suffer from depression are unable to work. Some people have to quit their jobs. Some people get let go because they’ve become inefficient workers.

If you find yourself in that group – you’re a depression sufferer that can’t work right now because you’re too sick – don’t feel bad or wrong or guilty about it. You currently have a mental illness that affects your ability to think clearly and your energy levels, which affect how you operate on the job.

The toughest part about depression affecting your ability to work is that you may lose your ability to generate income or generate sufficient income to meet your survival and medical needs.

At DZ, we’ve developed a map to help guide you in the actions you need to take if you’re struggling with depression and unsure about how to manage your career and finances while your sick. Here is the map (you can download a PDF copy below):

The Stress-Free Personal Blueprint

When you’re trying to recover from depression you need to reduce your stress levels, which means figuring out a way to manage your money so you don’t have to be worried about it when your sick and not working. You also NEED to take a minimum of one month to one year time off to focus solely on your health and getting better. Recovery from depression is a full time job. It’s important you find a way to take the time you and your body needs to get healthy again so you can work.

Step 1: Book time off if you’re working

Don’t feel guilty about taking time off. If your depressed you need to be relieved of all stressors including work so you can focus on relaxing and recovery and getting your health back. It’s suggested that depression sufferers take a one month to one year recovery time, which depends on how severe your depression has gotten.

If you’re working right now your first step is to have a conversation with your employer to negotiate time off. You may be able to take vacation time. You may be able to take a leave of absence (most employers are legally required to allow employees to take 12 weeks of for major health issues). You may be able to continue a bit of work (not ideal) but negotiate a work from home or lighter workload with time off.

If you’re not working you already have time but you still need to look at how to manage your finances and mood. The fact that you don’t have a job and perhaps a bad financial picture may be causing parts of your depression. Some people need to consider what they’d like to do for work and how to get back to a good financial state as part of their recovery plan.

Step 2: Plan your recovery time budget

Based on your new negotiations with work you’ll be able to figure out how much income you’ll be earning during your recovery time off. This is important for coming up with your time off budget.

Your first step in creating a budget during your time off is to evaluate your base survival expenses. You’ll need to add up all the things you need like: A place to live, food, medical expenses, and a car (in some cases). When you add up the monthly amounts for all these items you’ll arrive at the monthly amount of money you need at a bare minimum to live while you’re not working.

After you calculate your monthly expenses you’ll need to review all sources of income. Will you be getting money from your employer during your time off? Do you have money in savings you can rely on? Do you have family members that can help support your costs during this time? Are there government supports you can tap into? And although not ideal – can you borrow some money to help support you during this time so you can get better? These are all questions to consider.

The big question to uncover: Do you have enough money coming in to manage your expenses during your time off?

Step 3: Put your budget into action

If you answered “Yes” to the question above than the only thing to do is manage your budget. You may be able to have someone do this for you. You may want to set up automatic payments so you really don’t have to focus on paying bills while your sick. You don’t need any financial stress right now.

As part of your budget plan you may need to research and apply for government bursaries. For some people, mental illness is a disability that the government may support. If you begin applying for government resources it’s important to remember that these take time to process. It can take months to a year to get coverage and see checks coming in.

If you don’t have enough money to manage your expenses so you can take time off from work and recover you’ll want to look for other options. You can ask your employer if you can work from home or cut your hours so you work less. You may need to ask family members to help support you. You may even want to consider a new career. There are easy ways to make money these days from home selling products or services online. This may be something for you to consider now and in future.

When you recover from depression and start to feel ready to work again before you get into action assess your job. Many people with depression have to make major lifestyle changes. Some have to change occupations and leaves ones that are too stressful and don’t serve them.

Watch this brief video for a explanation of the Stress-Free Personal Blueprint led by depression expert Kay Walker. If you need additional support you may also want to consider Kay’s online course that teaches you how to build online businesses so you can learn how to make money from home in ways that inspire you.

How to resolve an upset with someone you love

January 17, 2016 By Kay Walker

Learn how to easily resolve an upset with someone you love. Here are the steps to reconciliation after a disagreement or misunderstanding that has resulted in anger or broken an otherwise loving or lose relationship with family or a good friend.

NOTE: While this exercise was written for is for depression fighters and their caregivers, it can work for anyone.

1) First, take responsibility for not “getting” them, even if you think you have. They don’t think you have, so you haven’t in their eyes. Let them be right.

2) Listen to what they have to say about the situation and look at where you can improve how you are supporting them. Ask them where you’ve failed to do this. And where you have succeeded. Have a frank conversation.

3) Repeat what they ask for back to them. Use their words so they know they have been heard. (This is critical.) If they say: “I need you to stop nagging me.” Say “Ok I understand – I need to stop nagging you. And I will.” Not: “I will stop bugging you to get off the couch.” Use the exact words they use. Only then will they know they have been heard by you.

4) Tell them you want to work with them as a team – together, to get them well. Ask for their buy in. If this isn’t a depressed person, find out what they are struggling with and offer to be a teammate on that.

5) Tell them you’ll do whatever it takes to get them well. Ask for a commitment from them to get well, and do what it takes.

6) Finally, tell them you are out to become an expert in depression (or their problem issue) because knowledge is your secret weapon in this fight. You can’t win unless you know the enemy extremely well.