Character modeling exercise for teens

It’s been scientifically proven that people who model behaviors of people they look up to and would like to be like, start to take on their behaviors much quicker.  Learning to act like someone you admire can also be an effective way to bust out of negative behaviors or behaviors that stop you from acting in ways you’d like to.

Teach this easy exercise to your teen. They can use it when they are battling with a negative emotion or dealing with a lack of self esteem. It’s important teens learn healthy ways to quickly stop negative behavior and replace it with positive behaviors. (You may even benefit from using this yourself).

Explain to them that when they identify a behavior they want to change, they can change it simply by stepping into the “beingness” of another person. This person can be fictional or factual. It’s like role playing. It uses “the fake it till you make it principle”, allowing you to act like someone else until you learn how to do it yourself.

Here’s how to use the Character Modeling tool:

Step 1: Choose or create a person with the behaviors you’d like to exhibit. This should be a person you’d like to be like. If it helps to build an avatar – to write out a description of an imaginary person you’d like to behave like – you can do that.

Step 2: Define all the character traits that person would exhibit in a similar situation to you. You can think of this before a given situation occurs or as it happens.

Step 3: Be that person. You do this by staying present to what that person would do and how they would behave if they faced the same situation. In a sense you are role playing.

Personally, I tend to use powerful famous women that I look up to.  When I have to interview someone who intimates me I choose to be Oprah Winfrey.

Here is how I see Oprah’s behaviors during an interview: Confident, personable, empathetic, human (relatable), authentic, not trying to be perfect, genuine.

When I step into being these traits I almost forget who I am and the fears that are hold me back.

For a teen, you may want to look at who they admire. What famous people does your teen look up to?  It’s likely they like those people due to specific behaviors they admire.

Even if you’re teen thinks this exercise is silly they’ll likely secrettly use it when they need to.