Myth: The people who talk about suicide don’t take their lives
Research studies show that 75% or more of all suicides took actions in the weeks or months before their deaths that clearly shows they were in deep despair. Any person that expresses suicidal feelings should get immediate attention from a professional and support from friends and family.
Myth: Anyone who tries to kill himself is crazy
Only about 10% of all suicidal people are psychotic or have delusional beliefs about reality. Most suicidal people are suffering from severe depression; but many depressed people can still manage their daily lives and function. If someone is not acting crazy or weird, it doesn’t mean there is no risk of suicide. Seemingly completely normal acting people someones are suffering in silence and take their lives unexpectedly.
Those problems weren’t enough to commit suicide over, is often said by people who knew a completed suicide. You cannot assume that because you feel something is not worth being suicidal about, that the person you are with feels the same way. It is not how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting the person who has it.
Remember: Suicidal behavior is a cry for help.
Myth: If a someone is going to kill himself, nothing can stop him
The fact that a person is still alive is adequate proof that part of them wants to remain alive. The suicidal person tends to be ambivalent — part of them wants to live and part of them wants the pain to end and death is way to stop it. It is the part of the sufferer that really wants to live that says to another person: I want to kill myself. If a suicidal person reaches out to you, it is likely because they believe you are caring, informed about coping with life, and they feel they can trust you. No matter how negative they may seem, the act of speaking about suicide to you is an act of reaching out and a request for help .
Give help sooner
Suicide prevention is not a sudden act. It is a planned process. Many suicidal people are afraid that asking for help will bring them additional pain because others might react by telling the sufferer that they are stupid, foolish, (in some cases) sinful. Some might be accused of manipulation. Other reactions can be rejection or punishment. There is a fear of suspension from school or job. Your job as the recipient of a cry for help it to everything you can to reduce their pain, rather than increase or prolong it. Helping, listening and offering support early as possible will reduce the risk of suicide.
Be available to listen
Give the person every opportunity to unburden his troubles and ventilate his feelings. You don’t need to say much and there are no magic words. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it. Give him relief from being alone with their pain and let them know you are grateful that they turned to you. Offer: patience, sympathy, acceptance. And do not engage in arguments or give advice. Ask them pointedly: Are you considering suicide?
Myth: Talking about suicide might give someone the idea to take their life
People already have the idea. Suicide is in the news media all the time. If you ask a depressed person this question you are doing a good thing for them: you are showing him that you care about him, that you take him seriously, you are listening and that you are there to let him share his pain with you. You are giving him a way to get rid of his painful feelings. If the person is having thoughts of suicide, find out how far along his ideas are about taking his life. It is just thoughts or has he started to plan actions?
If the person is clearly suicidal and ready to act, do not leave them alone.
If the means to take their lives are available then remove them.
Urge professional help.
You will need persistence and patience and may needed to seek, engage and continue to suggest as many options as possible.
If the person finds a professional to help them, continue to be available for them and offer your ongoing support and care.
Seek allies and help for yourself
Your suffering friend may say: “Don’t tell anyone.” It is the part of them that wants to stay alive that is sharing the secret with you that they may take their own life. Go and get your own help. Find someone you can trust and who can support you and review the situation with them. (You can get help and still protect someone’s privacy, if you wish.) Sharing your own anxieties and responsibilities of suicide prevention will make it easier and more effective.
Most people have suicidal thoughts or feelings at some point in their lives; yet less than 2% of all deaths are suicides. Nearly all suicidal people suffer from conditions that will pass with time or with the help of a mental health recovery program. There are hundreds of small and simple steps you can take to improve your response to a suicidal person and to make it easy for them to find and get help. Taking these steps will save a life and reduce his suffering.
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