Caregivers of depressed adults

Help for Parents and caregivers of Depressed Teens

Caregivers of depressed adults

How to easily resolve an upset with anyone

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Learn how to easily resolve an upset with someone you love. Here are the steps to reconciliation after a disagreement or misunderstanding that has resulted in anger or broken an otherwise loving or lose relationship with family or a good friend.

NOTE: While this exercise was written for is for depression fighters and their caregivers, it can work for anyone.

How to easily resolve an upset with anyone

1) First, take responsibility for not “getting” them, even if you think you have. They don’t think you have, so you haven’t in their eyes. Let them be right.
2) Listen to what they have to say about the situation and look at where you can improvehow you are supporting them. Ask them where you’ve failed to do this. And where you have succeeded. Have a frank conversation.
3) Repeat what they ask for back to them. Use their words so they know they have been heard. (This is critical.) If they say: “I need you to stop nagging me.” Say “Ok I understand – I need to stop nagging you. And I will.”  Not: “I will stop bugging you to get off the couch.” Use the exact words they use. Only then will they know they have been heard by you.
4) Tell them you want to work with them as a team – together, to get them well. Ask for their buy in. If this isn’t a depressed person, find out what they are struggling with and offer to be a teammate on that.
5) Tell them you’ll do whatever it takes to get them well. Ask for a commitment from them to get well, and do what it takes.
6) Finally, tell them you are out to become an expert in depression (or their problem issue) because knowledge is your secret weapon in this fight. You can’t win unless you know the enemy extremely well.

How masturbation can help relieve mental and physical pain

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Masturbation is a personal topic. You may not want to discuss it with your loved one. It’s suggested you share this article with them so they know how this can be a tool to help them when negative symptoms of depression become excruciating to deal with.

Advice for anyone suffering from depression:

When you feel severely depressed and you’ve exhausted all your options, you can get brief reprieve from the mental and/or physical pain you’re experiencing by masturbating. It will give you major relief on the spot, when you need it.

If you masturbate already, this advice won’t make your uncomfortable. If you don’t, keep reading this article. It will provide you with an understanding of the physiological processes involved in masturbation and how they can temporarily reduce uncomfortable emotional and physical painHow masturbation can help relieve mental and physical pain

This is science. It’s not wrong or bad to masturbate. It’s completely normal and natural. There is nothing wrong with touching your own body and genitals to bring yourself to orgasm.  And it could help you when nothing else can.

Unlike other methods of pain relief – drinking, drugs, overeating, yelling at someone, hiding your life away in a dark room – it’s a healthy way of dealing with biological or neurological pain.

It’s a brilliant way of relieving the mental and physical tension that occurs from anxiety and depression. And it’s something you can do on your own, anytime, anywhere, privately.

How masturbation can help relieve mental and physical pain

How orgasm relieves pain:

The euphoric feeling produced by an orgasm is linked to the nerves sent to the brain’s pleasure center, or reward circuit. The sexual arousal felt in the body floods the brain with a surge of happy brain chemicals.

The areas of the brain impacted by sexual arousal include the amygdala, nucleus accumbens, ventral tegmental area (VTA), cerebellum, and the pituitary gland. These brain regions are all connected to emotional regulation and hormone secretion. Over 30 brain regions are stimulated during an orgasm.

Dopamine is also released during orgasm. It is a feel good chemical. It’s the same chemical that some antidepressants target.

During orgasm a brain region call the lateral orbitofrontal cortex gets turned off. It controls self evaluation, reason and self control. It momentarily stops the brain from thinking the thoughts that are running as a results of anxiety and depression. It shuts down fear and anxiety for a short period of time.

When a woman experiences as orgasm the amgydala brain goes it to a state of relaxation. For men, relaxation to the same area reduces aggression.

Overall, the body experiences deep relaxation and pleasure. The heart rate slows.

Quick tutorial in masturbation

If you don’t masturbate regularly, all you need to do is to touch your body and genitals where it feels good. This is a personal journey.

If you find that you can’t concentrate enough, there are tools you can use that will help you, try:

  • Vibrators
  • Sexual images or videos
  • Help from a partner
  • Lubricants
  • Music

Masturbation can help when nothing else can. It’s a healthy way of relieving the pain. Find some private time, alone and give it a try.

Your digestive system impacts your mood

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If your loved one has seen a health professional (or professionals) for depression and no one has asked the the question: “Are you regular?”, you need to understand and let them know how having a healthy bowel is related to your mood. (Aside from the fact that having irregular bowel movements is uncomfortable). Read this article for a quick explanation. Share this information with your loved one.

Quick personal story from Kay Walker

How your digestive system affects your moodI learned about the connection in 2008.  I was taking a low dose of an antidepressant (prescribed to me during my teen years) that I was trying to wean off of, and went to see a naturopathic doctor.

He asked me how often I passed a bowel movement. I explained I was constantly irregular: “Sometimes I only go once a week!” I told him.  He explained that the situation was problematic and was likely causing my depressed mood. He prescribed me a combination of healthy bowel supplements, which I took by mouth.  I started having daily bowel movements. My mood improved and I was able to discontinue  my antidepressants. At the time, I never felt happier.

Your digestive system impacts your mood

Did you know, your body has two brains?

Your gut is the component of your digestive track that allows your body to digest food and process it into waste and eliminate it, by sending it out your anus.

What most people don’t know about the gut is that it works independently. It’s the only organ that works without being controlled by your cranial brain (the one inside your skull). That means, it’s also wired with a network of neurons (brain cells). There are approximately 400 to 600 million neurons in your gut.

For this reason, the gut is commonly called the “second brain” or “gut brain”. And it’s pre-empted a new school of research called neurogastroenterology.

How the cranial brain and gut brain interact

Your gut brain manufactures approximately 30 neurotransmitters (brain chemicals).  It talks to the brain in your head, your cranial brain, by sending messages through a region at the based of your brain that extends to abdomen, called the vagus nerve.

Your gut brain sends signals to your cranial brain that affect feelings of sadness, stress and that influence your thinking processes. Both brains produce the neurotransmitter (chemical messenger) serotonin. And get this: Your gut produces 95 percent of all the serotonin in your body. Your guts also makes 50% of the dopamine (another feel good brain chemical) in your body.

So, are you regular?

Frequency:  Are you passing a bowel anywhere from 1-3 times a day.  These averages suggest a normal range, though some individuals go slightly less (3-5 times per week) and some go more (up to 4 times per day). As you long as you are going at least every other day and you feel comfortable (you’re not dealing with stomach pain or discomfort)  it’s likely not affecting your mood.

Appearance: Your bowel movements should be a shade of brown.  They are brown because your liver produces a substance called bile, which helps your body break down and eliminate food. If your stool (your poop) is black or has red in it, you may have blood in your stool. This may suggest other serious illnesses.

Last thoughts on bowel health

If you are irregular, you’ll want to tell your doctor. You’ll be able to learn of ways that you can get your bowels back in working order.  To learn more about the connection between your brain and gut check out the book Second Brain by Michael Gershon.

Is it adrenal fatigue?

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Adrenal fatigue is a lesser known syndrome that has similar symptoms to major depression.  Some experts believe adrenal fatigue is misdiagnosed as depression often. It’s important to understand the differences because the treatment for adrenal fatigue does not require medication. It simply requires some changes to diet, time and sleep to rest and repair the adrenal glands.  Read on for more information….

Is it adrenal fatigue or depression?

What is Adrenal Fatigue?

A syndrome that’s similar to major depression in many ways. It occurs when the adrenal glands begin to function below the necessary level. This is often a result of prolonged stress and the way it puts pressure on the cells and systems of the body, and in this case, the adrenal glands, which are located above the kidneys.

As the name of the syndrome suggests, extreme sleepiness is a prime symptom.  This lack of energy disable an individual’s level to function physically and mentally. Many people report feeling sleepy, depressed, and physically unable to do what they used to do. In extreme cases, a sufferer will have trouble getting out of bed for more than a few hours. Is it adrenal fatigue or depression?

With this malfunction at the adrenal level other systems are put under pressure. Common additional symptoms are changes in hunger and weight, fluid and electrolyte imbalance and lowered sex drive.

What causes adrenal fatigue?

The adrenal glands in your body sit on top of your kidney’s and they mobilize during stress. they secrete a hormone that manages your energy levels, immune system, and heart rate.  When they undergo too much stress and for too long, they can’t keep up. The end result is an experience of adrenal fatigue.

During adrenal fatigue the glands still do function but not well enough.

Symptoms of adrenal fatigue:

  1. Tired for no reason.
  2. Trouble getting out of bed in the morning even if they’ve slept at least 6-10 hours.
  3. Feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
  4. Have trouble dealing with stress.
  5. Craving salty and sweet food.
  6. Feeling more awake after 6PM.  

How is adrenal fatigue diagnosed?

Even though adrenal fatigue has been around for many years, it is less discussed and understood among doctors of Western medicine than doctors who use natural remedies. You’re loved one may need to see a naturopathic doctor for a diagnosis.

Physicians will use a simple saliva test, commonly known as the Cortisol/DHEAS Saliva Test, to measure the level of the stress hormones DHEAS and cortisol in a patient’s saliva.  

Treatment for adrenal fatigue

Dietary changes, natural supplement, sleep and time are all the is needed to repair the adrenals to their optimum levels of function and get your loved one back to health.

Additional resource to check out for more information is the book: Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome™ by Dr. James L. Wilson

Future projections exercise

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Recovery can take a long time for your depressed loved one. Read and share this article with them. They can use the future projection exercise below to shift their mood when dealing with negative symptoms they can’t change. You can use it too!

 

When you are dealing with a difficult period in your life it’s important to remember the concept of time.  Here’s a definition to consider:

Time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.

Simply put, time is a continuum that starts the minute you are born and it never stops.  With each second  of a day that passes you become a different person.

This is a scientific fact. Even if you think you are the same and feel the same from moment to moment you are different. Your biology changes by the second. Your environment changes. And together these aspects shape you in the present moment.

This concept is at the core of Buddhist teachings. They call it impermanence. It is a term used to explain that the world and our existence is in a constant state of flux.  Time passes on no matter what and no one can stop it.

This is an especially important concept to consider in moments where life is not working the you way you want it to. Sometimes it feels that things will never change or that it will never get better. That is impossible.

While feelings are relevant to the way you experience the world it has nothing to do with reality. Feelings can’t be measured in distance, time and form. And feelings change from moment to moment as time shifts and new things happen.

So, no matter how bad your situation, it helps to understand that it is inevitable that your situation will change. It may get worse for a while. It may get better.  But life is a constant state of ups and downs.

The more you accept that life is constantly changing with your control the more you can learn to go with the flow and take heart in bad times knowing it will get better.  What goes up inevitably must go down, and vice versa.  Sometimes it goes far down. But it always comes back up eventually.

Future projections exercise

  1. Find a quiet place to sit or lay with no distractions
  2. Set a 5 minute timer
  3. Close your eyes
  4. In your mind visualize yourself as you are right now.  Get present to your clothes, your body, your surroundings. Get present to your unhappiness. Get present to your depression.  Feel your sadness. Feel your pain. Do this for 1-2 minutes. Now, shift your thoughts to a future time where you are happy. You can be doing anything in this future memory. Include people you want. Cloth yourself and create your body the way you want it to look.  Feel how happy you are. See yourself doing something you love.  Think about how great it all is.  Stay in this memory for as long as you like or shift to another memory. If you like you can even travel to the past and visit your past accomplishments. Feel the happiness in moments that were incredible.
  5. When you open your eyes you will wake up and life will be as it was when you closes your eyes. But know it is now 5 minutes beyond the time it was so the world is already a different place. You are already closer to your future memory. What is right now, won’t be soon.

Keep this old adage present as you move into your day: “This too, shall pass”