Learn how to easily resolve an upset with someone you love. Here are the steps to reconciliation after a disagreement or misunderstanding that has resulted in anger or broken an otherwise loving or lose relationship with family or a good friend.
NOTE: While this exercise was written for is for depression fighters and their caregivers, it can work for anyone.
1) First, take responsibility for not “getting” them, even if you think you have. They don’t think you have, so you haven’t in their eyes. Let them be right.
2) Listen to what they have to say about the situation and look at where you can improve how you are supporting them. Ask them where you’ve failed to do this. And where you have succeeded. Have a frank conversation.
3) Repeat what they ask for back to them. Use their words so they know they have been heard. (This is critical.) If they say: “I need you to stop nagging me.” Say “Ok I understand – I need to stop nagging you. And I will.” Not: “I will stop bugging you to get off the couch.” Use the exact words they use. Only then will they know they have been heard by you.
4) Tell them you want to work with them as a team – together, to get them well. Ask for their buy in. If this isn’t a depressed person, find out what they are struggling with and offer to be a teammate on that.
5) Tell them you’ll do whatever it takes to get them well. Ask for a commitment from them to get well, and do what it takes.
6) Finally, tell them you are out to become an expert in depression (or their problem issue) because knowledge is your secret weapon in this fight. You can’t win unless you know the enemy extremely well.
